In my last post I talked about an issue I was having with a girl I work with to coordinate a tutoring program. Well, after a drama-filled day yesterday and today, the "heads in charge" had a meeting to put everything out there. This particular girl, to whom I will refer as K, brought up the fact that everyone hates her, she doesn't know why, and she's tired of trying to make everyone happy so she's giving up. WHAT???!!! My first thought was that she needed to look in the mirror because the major problem wasn't everyone else it was her. We began to have what felt like an "intervention" for K. It at first felt a little dramatic, but it actually turned out to be very productive.
I learned a lot about K, from how many people don't get along with her to how she doesn't like to open up to others. All of this, along with other factors have landed her in the middle of a toxic mess. I then shared my perspective on self-reflection and how if everyone is perceiving you in a negative way (even people who just met you a week ago, like I did), you need to do some self-reflecting about what you're doing and how to modify it so that others are more receptive to you. I think she received what I was saying, but I know I learned a great lesson too. I had pretty much written her off as the girl with the bad attitude who was all about herself. I am going to trust that what I saw in her during our meeting was sincere. First impressions are key, but I think everyone deserves a second chance to redeem themselves.
Whether this is with colleagues or students, no one should be labeled or outcast because of what they've done in the past. K and I now have a fresh start and I hope that nothing but great things come from it. We all have needed a 're-do' at some point in our lives and I am glad I was able to provide an opportunity for someone else to have one this time around!