Positive Behavior Facilitation

I've been gone for way too long!! I honestly have not had the energy to post anything. So many amazing, insane, unbelievable things have happened since my last post. Of course, when I actually sit down to write, all of those events escape my memory!!

A while back, I posted that I was talking a course to be certified in Positive Behavior Facilitation (PBF). This 6-week course was absolutely life changing-for my life both in the classroom and outside of it. The focus of PBF is that we cannot not make anyone change their behaviors, nor can we change it for them. PBF suggests that if we focus on becoming more self-aware about our own beliefs, triggers, and ways of dealing with conflict, we will model and encourage the positive behavior and choices we so desperately want to see in our students.

By looking inward and reflecting on my beliefs, thoughts, and feelings when I interact with others, I was able to realize the contributions I make to situations of conflict. It is so easy to say "Bobby really made me mad!" or "Susie,you are so disrespectful" in the heat of conflict. However, with self-awareness comes the realization that no one can make you mad, but instead something they did triggered something on the inside and made you react that way. PBF would suggest also that in the case of 'Susie', using 'You-messages' (instead of 'I-statements')backs the students against a wall and makes her defensive and more unwilling to resolve the conflict.

The PBF training was incredibly rich and has changed the nature of many of my interactions with my students, especially with my more challenging personalities. By thinking more about what I am bringing to the situation (feelings, beliefs, baggage, etc.) I am better able to set the tone for the interaction rather than reacting to the tone set by the student.

Here is one of the pieces of 'brain food' from PBF that I believe resonates profoundly in my classroom:

-We cannot expect more of our students than we expect of ourselves. We must act the way we expect our students to behave. If we want to work effectively with difficult students, we must be willing to change ourselves. Although we rarely appreciate our most difficult students because of the time they take and the frustration they cause, their presence can lead to growth if we learn from the obstacles they throw in our way.
**Allen Mendler and Richard Curwin (1999)**

Fighting Words

I witnessed my first fight in my classroom today. It was by no means the first one of the year, but it was the first one for which I was actually present. It was a skirmish (using one of our vocab words this week!) between two students that have had an altercation before. After talking to parents and working with the pair to resolve their issues, we didn’t see any real problems. We put them in the same group when we rearranged desks and we didn’t have any problems to begin with. Recently they had been going at it a little and we decided to move them. We wanted them to try to work it out, but given their history it wasn’t worth it. Today at lunch, there was an issue with one of the boys throwing crayons at the other one. I intervened and told both parties to stop throwing things and if they didn’t have anything nice to say, they shouldn’t say anything at all. This seemed to do the trick, but boy was I wrong!! We were lining up for recess and I purposely called groups to line up in a way that would not put those two students together. Somehow, unknown to me, they were standing right next to each other in line. I turned around, saw them, and attempted to tell them to separate, but before I could, D. turned and shoved P. with full force-even knocking another student in his path to the ground. I was so flustered in that instance and had no clue what to do. I immediately moved D. out of the room and called for the principal who happened to be standing in the hallway at the time. I then asked P. if he was okay and sent him to my CT. We had to send the other girl who was collateral damage to the nurse for a bruised nose. I’ve always wondered what I would do if a fight broke out in the classroom….now I know.

On the Bright Side

So, no snow day today....BUT.....we only had 9 students come to class today!! I know it is going to be torture getting the other half of the class caught up on what they missed today but I absolutely LOVED the smaller class (not that my class of 18 students isn't small to begin with). I was able to do things with this group that fail miserably when the rest of the class is there....games to enrich content, allowing students to complete independent work on the carpet (which usually becomes a disaster when more than one student in on the carpet!) With me and my CT there, we were able to provide more one on one attention, which was great during our math lesson on mixed numbers and improper fractions. Even though the students who actually showed up today are the more 'rambuncious' of the group, they were amazingly well-behaved!! I even wrote two POSITIVE notes home for two students who are often the most difficult to deal with. Even though I did not get my snow day, they day didn't turn out to be too bad!

Change- Hopefully for the Better

I have been reflecting a lot on what I want the classroom environment to be like in the Spring when I student teach. Luckily, the nature of my program is such that we have a vested 'ownership', so to speak, of the classroom. My CT has told me that when I take over in January, I will be calling the shots. We differ in some of our philosophies about instruction, discipline, etc. There are some things that do not work for me in the room. Below are some of my thoughts on one of the behavior management techniques that my CT uses that do not mesh with my own philosophy: An explanation of how it works and how I want to use it differently when I am teaching.

What I See:
 Number System: When a student misbehaves, they are usually given one verbal warning. Any other misbehavior after that initial warning, students are given a number. The numbers range from 1-4.
o 1 = Not showing respect for themselves, others or property.
o 2 = Not following directions, which includes being off task and talking.
o 3 = Disruptive- out of seat, loud noises, bothering other students, etc.
o 4 = Not prepared for class, missing homework, books, notices to be returned, etc.

 There is no set amount of numbers that students get before a steeper consequence is implemented.
 At the beginning of the year, we would send out a behavior report every Friday informing parents on how their child behaved throughout the week. Explanations of what each “number” meant were included with the report and it had to be signed by a guardian and brought back on Monday.
 By about October, we were not sending out behavior reports any more
 The idea of getting a number really has no impact on student behavior. One of the consequences of getting multiple numbers throughout the day is making a phone call home for students to inform parents about their misbehaviors. This is done in front of the whole class during instructional time.
 I have had trouble with this system because my CT does not have a standard set of numbers that a student must get before a phone call is made. I also do not like that phone calls are made during instruction time and in front of the entire class. It embarrasses the student and kills time that could be spent teaching. I don’t feel like this method does anything to correct and resolve poor student behavior…it simply dishes out a what the teacher feels is a punishment, but what the students just chalk up to another part of the day.

What I Want to See:

Since this is not my own classroom, I understand that I can not just say “out with the old and in with the new”. I have given a lot of thought to how I can reconcile her inefficient system with my desire to correct behavior, not to punish, and to maintain student dignity and respect. Since students are already used to the number system, I would like to maintain it. I would like to establish a limit to the number of numbers that I will issue out before further contact is made with parents/guardians or administrators. This is how I see the number system in play: A student incessantly talks when lining up and walking in the hallway to specials, lunch and the restroom. The first time the student does not follow the expectation of no talking in the hallway, I will tell them that they have a number 2 because they did not follow the expectation of no talking. I will tell them that I know they can do better and expect them not to talk in the hallway. If this behavior continues, I will tell them that they have another number. I will also talk with this student about what unacceptable behaviors I have seen and ask them what we can do together to make sure that it does not happen again. For example, does she need to stand somewhere else in the line so she isn’t tempted to talk, if I give her a silent signal when she is talking, will that help her to check her behavior? After we have this discussion and agree to whatever steps we have talked about, hopefully the behaviors will be changed for the better. If after this second step, the student is still not following directions, they will receive a third number and either a phone call will be made by me sometime throughout the day to their guardians or a note will go home with the student explaining their behavior throughout the day, to be signed by guardians and brought back the next day.

This is not set in stone, so to speak. I don’t know if it should be after the third or 4th number that I call/write home. If I refuse to use instructional time to call parents and I along with my school administration are against sending students out of the classroom unless safety is in question, what will happen with the students who continue to misbehave after their 3rd number? Will I continue to use down time to conference with these students, only to spend even more time after school calling home or writing behavior reports? These are some of the kinks that I haven’t worked out yet but I’ve still got a little time to figure it out before I meet with my CT. I’m trying to flesh my thoughts out as much as possible so she understands my rationale for amending the current system.

Sticks and Stones

Something happened today that was one of the most hilarious yet saddening events of my life!! In the afterschool program, the other student teacher and I had devised a plan for splitting up the rather large group of students. I think I spoke to this in a previous post, but for whatever reason, the students never want to be in my room. I honestly think it is because of my no-nonsense approach to classroom management. If you are doing what you should be doing, we will have the best time, but if you are not it won’t be that way at all. If you can’t show me that you can handle the responsibility that comes with being a 5th grader, than you cannot enjoy the things that responsible and respectful 5th graders enjoy.

Back to the story…so we came up with a plan so that the students that were with me one week would rotate to Miss S’s room and her students would then rotate to my room. We put them on a 1 week rotation so we wouldn’t have to worry about students asking us everyday if they could be in her room; everyone would get there chance.

Well today was the day that our classes were supposed to rotate. Before we left to go down to the classrooms, the coordinator of the program came to us with a “revised” class list that he created. He wanted to split certain students up and also to put an end to the ingenious rotation plan we created. As soon as he said that, Miss. S and I knew that this was going to get real ugly!!! So we had my CT, who also works in the program, announce the changes. We didn’t want to have anything to do with it! She is a tell-it-like-it-is kind of lady, so she wasn’t to concerned about their reactions. She called one group of students, the ones that would be in my classroom to line up at the door. Then she struck the knock-out blow….she told them they would all be in MY classroom!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! You would’ve thought they found out they were being shipped to the moon! I don’t think I’ve ever seen such long faces before in my life!! So while the students in my room were in deep mourning, the students in Miss. S’s room were having the celebration of their lives. They were bragging to my kids like they just swept the opposing team in the NCAA Championships!! INCREDIBLE!!! This was hilarious, but I’m not gonna lie, I felt kind of sad too! The reaction that these kids had to being in my classroom; the huffing, puffing, and stomping down the hallway along with comments like “I don’t want to be in your room”, “Man, I’m not coming back to this program if I have to be with her!!” in addition to a few tears, really made me feel bad. I have never said a mean or cruel word to these students, so to hear these comments dished to me, I was hurt.

I have high expectations for my students…end of story. I wish they didn’t dread being in my room, but it is what it is. They know that when they come into my room, though, that I am totally committed to making sure they understand the content, become more responsible and are socially and emotionally well. If this happens to exclude them liking me, oh well. It has really taken me 7 weeks to utter those words and actually mean it. I still get sad when I hear the discontent some feel, but at the end of the day, I know that I my goal is to give them what they need. Their words may hurt sometimes, but as long as they don’t start throwing sticks and stones at me, I’ll be good!

Stop Picking on Me!!!

There are two students (one boy- “Luke”and one girl- “Melissa”) in my class that are perhaps the most stubborn and rebellious students I have ever worked with. They are frequently engaging in behavior that does not coincide with the expectations in the classroom or school. With the majority of students in my class, when they are being disrespectful or disruptive, I address it and they correct the behavior. With these two students, every situation becomes an argument or a challenge. They never accept responsibility for their actions and have, on numerous occasions accused me of “picking on them”. They defy the warnings that I give them and consciously choose not to replace the poor behaviors in an attempt to challenge my authority (my hypothesis). Once I “make them mad” it is a lost cause for the rest of the day

Melissa and Luke have had a profound impact on the classroom dynamic and my teaching. When they refuse to work, they make it seem like it in our class you can do whatever you want, and when you want to do it. Luckily, the other students haven’t modeled this behavior yet. It isn’t fair to the other students that they have to work, even if they don’t want to, but Melissa and Luke can work when they feel like it. When working in small groups, these two students frequently refuse to cooperate. One two separate occasions I have gotten so fed up with their poor attitudes that I have sent them back to their desks. I was spending so much time getting them back on task that I was neglecting the students who were taking care of business. So, what purpose did that serve? Melissa and Luke just went back to their desks and doodled, distracted others, or whatever else they felt like doing.

They have also made me question whether or not I am targeting them throughout the day. I also feel weary of enforcing consequences for their misbehaving because of the drama that ensues each time I ask them to correct their conduct. I hesitate to say that I am afraid of them because I am not. I guess I just feel like they are going to be defiant no matter what, so why even bother I know this is not the mentality I should have, but I do not know what else to do. . I sometimes feel like I am arguing with my little sibling or cousin, but I still end up “losing” in the end. I talked to my CT about it and she said that in no way am I targeting Melissa and Luke. Oddly enough, she does not encounter the same attitude that I get with these students. As I discussed with the two students myself, if every time I look up you are doing something you should not be done, I cannot be picking on you. You need to correct you behaviors so that I am not always seeing you misbehaving. I also make it a point to praise these students when I see appropriate behavior. I tell them that I love how quietly they walked in the hallway or how patiently they waited for me to come around to assist them. Even with encouraging positive behaviors, I still have not made any headway with decreasing the amount of attitude I get throughout the day on most days.

The disrespect that these students show me almost on a daily basis is not acceptable. As frustrated as I get with them, every interaction I have with them, I am conscious that I am not holding grudge or being mean. Every time we cross paths, I want it to be a new start. Unfortunately, these two students won’t let that happen….at least not yet! For next week, I want to have a one-on-one talk with the students. I would make sure, though, that it did not seem like I was targeting these students. I want to highlight positive behaviors that I know they have shown in the past. During this meeting, I will also talk about negative behaviors I have seen as well. I would present students with behaviors they’ve exhibited and ask them to think about why they may have gotten a number and what they could have done differently. My ultimate goal is for the students to walk away knowing that I am not picking on them, but that they are responsible for their behaviors and must face the consequences of them. Maybe we could right up an agreement that says what the students will agree to and what I will agree to. In this agreement, I would also clarify what will happen if students do not hold their end of the deal. This is just one idea, but whatever I choose, if it does not work out, the next step will be having a nice sit-down or conversation with their guardians because their negative attitudes and behaviors cannot continue.

I could also take this situation and create an opportunity to confer with each student briefly to discuss great things I’ve seen them do and maybe some things they can commit to working on. After these conferences, I would maybe have the class right down some things that they think I could work on and turn them in to me. I want them to know that I am not perfect and even teachers have things we need to work on. The ultimate goal is for students to understand that anyone can improve their behavior or attitude at any time, but only they have the power to do it.

Survival of the Fittest Teacher

I will officially consider today the most challenging day of my student teaching experience!!! I was so flabbergasted by the behavior of my students that I am STILL at a loss for words! Where do I even begin???????

I started to write about all of the things that went wrong today but I am not going to do that. I have vowed to try to be as constructive as possible and I want that to continue. Please know, however, that I have done my fair share of venting today, so I am not keeping everything bottled up, only to explode soon after! So no, my students did not follow directions today, nor did they respect each other, do their homework, or walk quietly in the hallway. But, at the end of the day, I love them to the moon and still want only the best for them. So, objectively looking at the chaos that was my day today, I feel like I did contribute to some of the madness. I believe that even though students are responsible for the behavior, teachers can contribute to problems in the classroom by having a short fuse, not implementing immediate consequences to poor behaviors, antagonizing students who need to be left alone because you want them to cooperate on your clock, and the list most certainly goes on. Below are the things that I want to work on to maintain more control of the classroom, respect student space and needs, and maximize the time spent learning:

- Don’t argue with students…..poor behaviors=negative consequences…end of story. I feel like I spent way too much time today arguing with students about whether or not they were actually doing what I “accused” them of doing. Assuming students understand expectations and resulting consequences, there is no need to debate whether or not it was fair or why they are in trouble and “Billy” isn’t.
- Praise those students who are taking care of business. Today, especially, I know these students were overlooked because so much time was spent dealing with the students who behaved poorly. I do not want to help create an atmosphere that inadvertently puts value and attention on inappropriate behaviors that are in no way deserving of it.
- One thing that I want to CONTINUE doing is discussing the day’s behavior with students. When there has been an issue with behavior, I always try to talk to the students about what I observed and ask them to tell me what contributed to their unacceptable behavior today. I focus on positive behaviors that I have seen in the past and want to see every day instead of the negatives ones. Most students are usually receptive to this and seem to appreciate that I want to understand why their behavior changed instead of just judging them as “being bad”. There are a couple of strong-willed students who refuse to talk to me and/or get very defensive during this time , so I have learned to wait until they cool down and are ready for a constructive dialogue.

At the end of the day, I can say I survived the most challenging day yet!! I am glad this day is over with and am ready to get back in there and start fresh. New day = new start. I can’t lie though, I am so happy that I have my methods courses ALL DAY tomorrow (never thought I’d say that). A break from the kiddos gets no complaints from me! I will see them for a few hours at the after-school program, but that will be a breeze!! Oh wow, and Friday is a school improvement day so no kiddos then either….I might just miss them by the time Monday gets here!!

Tattle, Tattle, Tattle-Tellers

Frequently each day, I have students come up to me and tell me that someone cussed at them, some hit them, someone stole their mechanical pencil, or something to those effects. Some appear to be serious while others seem to be simply trying to get attention. Either way, in most situations, I did not see what happened.

This type of “tattling” is becoming more and more prevalent. It usually happens like this: “Lisa” gets in trouble by me for throwing a pencil eraser across the room. As I am reprimanding her, she tells me that “Mike” threw something at her too. Sometimes, it isn’t even spurred by a specific event. For example, “Tony” may come up to me as we are in the process of lining up for Specials and say, “Mark” hit me. These situations seem minor and more like he said, she said, but they have been causing a little frustration for me because I do not know what I should be taking seriously. How do I decide what is worth reacting to and what is better left ignored? What I fear is that I may choose to ignore something that is actually a valid concern and a student suffers because of it. Furthermore, if I choose not to ignore something, how should I respond/what should I say to that student? Do I even have the right to call them out if I didn’t even see them do anything? Overall, I have been casting most complaints to the side as “tattles” and honestly, I believe they are. I just wish I could refine my discretion as to what is serious and what is not.

I am certain that I will encounter more pressing issues in my career as a teacher. However, this is a situation that if left unresolved can really disrupt the classroom dynamic. I want my students to know that if there is a problem they can come to me and I will demand that they are treated with respect. On the other hand, my students need to understand that we do not have time to tattle. I also want to help them see that the more they come to me about insignificant things, I naturally grow less likely to believe them when there is truly something serious going on. I believe that part of my responsibility as a teacher is to help students learn to self-assess the situations in which they find themselves and determine if it is really worth bringing to my attention. Most times, students are capable of handling the situation without the intervention of a teacher. For example, if someone is bothering “Tony”, he can kindly ask that person to stop tapping their shoulder/stop humming, etc. I am aware that if I am having trouble knowing how and when to respond to these situations, my students almost certainly are too. I am committing myself to making sure that both I and my class have the tools needed to make the best decisions in these situations.